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For Better or Maybe for the Worse?
Once upon a time and happily thereafter are terms that we are all familiar with and have even grown accustomed to. Likewise, many people imagine their future marriage that will allow them to spend the rest of their life with their soul mate. However, almost all people in this day know of at least one marriage that has failed due to various circumstances. In 2014 divorce has become such a frequent result of marriages that people should be wondering why marriages are failing in the first place. Divorce is not always simply the result of failed love. Divorce tends to be the result of high assumptions of economic provision, lack of expected health quality, or infertility within marriages.
Upon entering a marriage, the newlyweds each have their own beliefs that their personal economic and education standards will be met. People say that money is not everything when it comes to love, but statistics from research by scholars Bradford Wilcox and Elizabeth Marquardt of Metero University report that harder economic times have had an impact. The percentage of a lasting first marriage differs among education levels with those “highly educated”, or obtaining at minimum a bachelor’s degree, with 56% intact, those “moderately educated”, or those with a high school diploma, with 45%, and “least educated”, or those who did not complete high school, with 39% (Wilcox and Marquardt). The chance of divorce also changes among these standards as “highly educated” having an 11% chance of divorce within 10 years, “moderately educated” with a 37% chance and “least educated” with a 36% chance (Wilcox and Marquardt). Clearly depicted through the documented studies, the education status correlates directly with income conditions. This imbalance shows staggering evidence of a marital divide that also affecting marriage and the very fabric of that binds our society together.
Although many wedding vows include the promise that the couple will be there in sickness and in health, this pledge to one another can be tested if a spouse is later diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts a strain on the ideal relationship. Research specialist and Social Family Advocate Recipient, Alexandra Sifferlin, reviewed a 2010 study from the University of Michigan of 2,717 couples and found that “31% of marriages involving at least one sick partner end in divorce” (Sifferlin). Although this percentage seems low, taken in a different angle, this means that a little over 3 out of every 10 marriages facing medical issues ends in divorce. With emerging diseases yearly, the category of couples with health problems will only increase, therefore this statistic will apply to more of the population. Once embedded onto a host, this terminal illness will eat away at the foundation of family and society.
A common goal of many marriages is to produce children to fulfill an idea of a family; but what if this dream cannot be fulfilled due to infertility? Erica Berman, a doctor in psychology with over thirty-five years’ experience, states infertility can “create a substantial financial burden for people; it can destroy a couple’s intimacy; it can cause serious significant emotional distress and interfere with everyday functioning” (Berman). The emotional effects of this incapability to provide what was expected can become a divide in marriages with blame felt on either side of the situation. If the relationship is built on the foundation to reproduce as an outpouring symbol of their love, couples can feel as if they have lost their identity as a pair and the definition of a family when this is not a possibility and therefore feeling left out and potentially withdrawing from society.
Some might argue that there are circumstances during which divorces are solely the result of lack of intimacy, passion or commitment. Perhaps a wrong choice is made at too young of an age or in a moment of idealistic passion. However, the absence of these sentimental connections can be “rooted within the broader emotion of resentment that has underlying causes which are greater than a sudden change of heart” (Pilossoph). Even marriages that have intentions to endlessly love one another can be damaged by societal demands of a basic standard of living and initial dreams that are broken by unforeseen situations.
People with long-term commitment to others provide communities with healthier and more productive individuals that contribute to society positively. Those that have made the continuous responsibility to one another “are 1.3 times more likely to participate in volunteer opportunities to promote the welfare of others” (Keyes). Further Cohen reports that people who make an abiding promise to stand by another person through any circumstance “tend to report higher life satisfaction and lower psychological distress than single people.” Clearly the suggestion of higher life satisfaction can make a stronger bedrock of society.
With marriages lacking commitment to promises made during wedding ceremonies to take their partner for life, society needs to begin to set the example for future marriages that divorce should not be the easy outcome when the future does not unfold as planned. Social classes have been placed at odds in yet another dimension with dramatic differences in the expectancy of success in marriage. As health conditions impact adults of various ages, these medical concerns become weights on the potential for a long-term marriage. The expectation of children to create a family has left infertile spouses to create a break in a relationship due to feelings of inadequacy. Since divorce is a high trend in recent years, couples considering marriage should evaluate mistakes of past marriages in order to prevent unreachable standards and prepare to stick with the vows made to be together “for better or worse” in order to create a future with higher standards of commitment so that society has the chance to live happily thereafter.
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